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Banjo loves you and you provide a wonderful and very stable home for him. Sure, there are other things that you could be providing him, but he is no worse for the wear for not having a yard or constant doggie companion.
BanjoTheBetaDog said:
Again, I ask that I not be reminded of my failures as a person as I come here hat in hand for advice.
Do you realize the contradiction you wrote? Banjo isn't without company if he sees 2-6 doggy friends for walks up to 3 hours EVERY DAY. You are already doing more than most. As my dog is now past the 2 year mark, he doesn't make new friends easily. But he loves the friends he has, so we continue to go to classes so they can spend time together - this is once a week, with unscheduled gatherings a few times a month. I don't feel that I am letting him down. I don't remember, but do you take classes or do other activities with Banjo too? Maybe you should spend more time working on the bond between you two instead of worrying that you are not good enough.BanjoTheBetaDog said:I appreciate the kind words. That being said, it's the loneliness more than the yard. He has no playmates or company all day. Today I went to work late and banjo spent the morning looking out the window and whining whenever a dog passed by. It breaks my heart.
Eta: around noon he is out for 45 min -3 hours with the walker/trainer for socialization. Sometimes it's just a walk with two dogs. Sometimes he meets 6 of his buddies at the park. It really just varies.
violet_in_seville said:@banjothebetadog - please excuse the blunt, and I daresay, harsh tone of the following response. My intentions are good, but frankly, all the nice (and true) things that other posters have said to you don't seem to have much of an effect on this step you seem to be building yourself up to taking.
I'm not admonishing you as a human being in the sense of you being a bad dog owner (as you somehow seem to fear in your initial post), but I do think you are indulging in a certain type of perversely selfish selflessness that seems not uncommon amongst those both privileged and kind of heart.
Others have covered just how good Banjo's life is with you. You know better than anyone else just how strongly the two of you are bonded. You are reading signs of Banjo's loneliness as testament to the inadequacy of his care and socialization. Has it never occurred to you that perhaps it is because he misses you, specifically? That perhaps this depression over the absence of the other dogs, is actually sulking due to the (very normal) absence of an owner whom he adores?
I know you have the very best of intentions, but in your sketch of the case for why Banjo would be happier with different owners who have a different life situation, you come across as wanting to wallow in a martyr complex. I think many of us would find it sweetly amusing (no doubt you really love your dog) if we didn't think there was the possibility of some very real and unpleasant consequences for Banjo.
Second, with regards to this rescuer, don't you think you are being inconsiderate of her time? You work for a non-profit so I think you understand just how thinly stretched their resources are. You would be asking her to take Banjo from a loving, caring, home and spend her time and resources finding him what you consider an even better home, rather than helping a dog that has never known that kind of love and care. Given the dearth of good homes for dogs, the number of abusive or negligent homes, and the limited resources of any rescue or rescuer, this request would be shortsighted and selfish, no matter how good your intentions for Banjo.
Finally, you do realize that by insisting that you are not serving Banjo's best needs despite the time, love, and money lavished on him, simply because he does not have other canine companions or a yard, etc., that you are insulting all of the owners out there and on this forum with similar circumstances, right? Working a 9-5 that requires commuting, living in an apartment or condo, and only having one dog, is not uncommon. I could list quite a few posters who are living in that kind of situation. Do you think that these posters, who exhibit just as much love, dedication, and commitment to their dogs are doing them a disservice? My guess is that you wouldn't but because they are not you, your perspective is a little more objective.
So if all the other posts are the sweet words trying to convince you to take the right oath, consider this post the slap in the face to try to get you to come back to your senses. Banjo's place is with you.
Something to lighten the tone of my post:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GetAHoldOfYourselfMan
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