Okay... First off, yes, you are over thinking this. Stop over thinking it. [-X

To answer your question on how hard rehoming is for a dog, it depends on a LOT of things. It depends on how stable the current home has been, how much the dog has bonded with the owner, how comfortable the dog is with new things, how well the dog adjusts to new situations and new people, etc. There is no one answer that works for all dogs.

Shibas often go through bouts of "depression" if their person has been away. They are dramatic little creatures and want you to feel bad for leaving them (at least, this has been my experience, even when leaving the dogs at my house with a pet sitter, whom they are okay with, but not over the top in love with). They were happy to see me when I got home, but it took a few days for them to be back to their normal selves.

Coming from your dog walkers home for a few days back to your house is an adjustment. Schedules have changed, activity has changed, and mental stimulation has changed. It does not necessarily mean that one place is better than the other, just different.

Banjo loves you and you provide a wonderful and very stable home for him. Sure, there are other things that you could be providing him, but he is no worse for the wear for not having a yard or constant doggie companion. In fact, he is probably better off without a yard or doggie sibling. You take him for long walks and have play dates for him with other dogs. He gets a ton of exercise and mental stimulation because of this.

You are not a failure, and you are certainly NOT failing Banjo.

@BanjotheBetaDog-I agree with @Sunyata completely. You are overthinking this and reading too much into might just be a transition phase for Banjo as he settles back into a routine with you. From reading your posts, I believe Banjo and you have a strong and unique bond It's obvious that you love him very much and that you make him a priority in your life. I believe that what is most important is the bond between the human and the pooch. Quake's first pet parents had a yard and another dog for him to play with and also children but their bond with Quake was not strong and they did not want to spend the time with him so it was best that they rehomed him. I live in a condo and Quake loves having pooch friends in the building and human friends as well. He does not have a yard or a furry companion but he has my complete love and devotion just as Banjo has your love and devotion. I also make sure that Quake has physical and mental stimulation daily just as you do for Banjo. That being said, if things in your life are changing such that you would no longer be able to make Banjo a priority, then maybe it would be time to think about rehoming him but only very careful thought. It would be sad for you to have regrets afterward.

He spends his day sitting in a little cage just waiting for someone to come play with him and take him out. He is kind, sweet, and wonderful.... this is the life I have subjected him to? =(

Can I come slap you?

You know what's a horrible owner?

My neighbor, who locks their golden retriever in an expen out on their deck when they ARE home....the expen is only big enough for the dog to lay down in.

How is potty schedule? They open the front door, let him out to the bush near the curb 5 feet away then call him back. He gets no exercise, no love, and probably gets fed crap food.

I don't think I am a bad owner. I know how good he has it, but.... it just reminds me of the girl I broke up with a few years ago. I loved her... a lot. Which is why I couldn't stand in her way when the job of a lifetime (helping children in africa learn to read and get drinking water) was presented to her. We broke up because I knew happiness (for her) was somewhere else.

I feel this way now. As if I am just being selfish keeping him.

@zandrame an expen doesn't lay out well in my apartment. I have been better about puppy proofing and when the new furniture (delayed... grr) comes in, I am going to start uncrating him more. In my current layout he can get from the couch to the counter with no effort. In the new layout, thats not an issue.

ETA:

@lauratherose I am torn with what Banjo would love more... me, or more freedom. In the short term, that's obviously me, but in the long term, what will provide him a happier life?

@BanjotheBetaDog-I forgot to mention that some dogs don't really like being left alone in a yard. Quake's first pet parents were angry at him because he escaped several times from their fenced yard!!! This is why I say that the special bond between you and Banjo is of utmost importance and not a fenced yard and another furry companion for him. In addition, your love and dedication to giving Banjo a life filled with love and care is what sets you apart as a Pet Parent. See how it works out with super puppy proofing your condo and uncrating him for short periods of time. I so much hope it works out well for you and Banjo!!

@BanjoThe BetaDog please don't feel that you're not doing enough because you are! More than most people in fact. We have a yard, not huge but a cute yard with space to run around, but Yuki spends most of her day indoors and that's by choice. As much fun as Banjo had with his buddies, he probably doesn't mind being an only child, most shibas don't. He'll have more space when he isn't being crated as much, and if you're still concerned maybe see if there's a good doggy daycare near you that he can attend a few times a week. I obviously don't know you, but from your posts it sounds like you really love Banjo, and I'm sure he's attached to you. Try not to over analyse things, I think you're driving yourself nuts.

First of all, the older he gets the more likely it is that he will not want to play with other dogs or run around that much in a garden.
I was also going to suggest doggy day care if that is possible?

You are a great shiba parent!

Okay... Since you are obviously being stubborn about this...

For the first 9 years of Bella's life and 5 years of Nola's life they had a fairly large house with not just one but TWO fenced yards. They LOVED their yards and spent a large amount of time hanging out in the yard when I was home with them.

Earlier this year, I did the first selfish thing I have done since those dogs came into my life. Up until that point everything I did, I did for them. But an amazing job opportunity was presented to me that would require a complete lifestyle change for us. Because I knew that in the long run, it was the best decision for me (and subsequently them), I uprooted our life and moved from our rural-ish area to a major metropolitan area. They no longer have a large house with fenced yards. We live in small-ish place that they share with myself and five bicycles (no basement or garage!?). They no longer have a yard to call their own and can no longer spend hours sunning themselves in the afternoon sun. Does it suck... Yes. Do I feel horrible for not having a yard for them? Absolutely. But they get plenty of walks around the neighbourhood. They get lots of hiking time. We play fetch on long leads in the courtyards in my neighbourhood. We make it work and they are no worse fo the wear. Those dogs depend on me for everything and are very much bonded to me. Would they be happier with a yard. Definitely. Would they be happier with a yard without me. Absolutely not.

Eventually, they will have a yard again. But it will be a couple of years before I can make that happen. They will not suffer because of it, though. Not one bit.

Banjo is perfectly fine. Eventually, you will be able to leave him uncrated when you are not there. But until he is trustworthy, it is in Banjo's best interest to crate him. He is not suffering (from what you have described). You are over thinking everything. So stop. :)

(And +1 to what @Juni said regarding him getting older.)

You are beating yourself up. You are giving Banjo a better life than 99% of dogs in this world. It is about quality time and not quantity of time in a big yard or house. He has good quality time with you.

Incidentally, we moved from an urban apartment like yours to a suburban house before we got our now 7.5 month old shiba. So we have small fenced yard and larger house for him to run in (compared to an apartment). Well, the fenced yard is good, honestly, for pee breaks but we still have to be out there with him supervising him, so how is that much different than walking him down the street or at the park on a long lead? BTW, my back yard is tiny, only about 15 feet by 40 feet. As far as a large house goes, our shiba only has free run of half the downstairs, which probably gives him ~800 sq ft. So, again, how is this an improvement over the space of a one bedroom apartment? And oh yeah, my puppy lives in a crate when we aren't home. I suspect it will be ages before he can have free reign.

So, take a deep breath, have a relaxing beverage of your choice and give your dog a huge hug. He loves you man and you are an awesome parent.

I hear you bro. Whenever I'm away a few days Ratchet is happy to see me, at first, then it's like "you heartless baster, leaving me hear alone."

Yeah, dogs are weird. :)

Adding on to it... YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD OWNER to even consider this.

However, don't let your sense of altruism deprive you of happiness and letting go of everything you love just because you THINK (keyword is think) that the other person/dog would be happier without you.

The biggest thing to consider is, would Banjo ever be able to find someone else who will love him and bond to him equal to or more than you? You're leaving that to chance..

You might be giving him to people who are like my ex-roommates. Yeah, my friend has a big house, lots of money, but she leaves her dog in her room for 10+ hours a day, never walks her dog, and that dog lives in its own filth. She never bothered to housebreak her dog, and it just soils the floor to the point where the wood has water damage... Her dog is neurotic and an attention-starved little yappy shit.
But on the outside? My friend looks like a perfect upstanding citizen who loves her dog (I don't doubt she loves her dog but my god she treats it horribly).

A possible solution is maybe making some friends in your area, and offering to switch off on watching dogs? That way Banjo will have a buddy to play with every few days?

I think you are over thinking this but you are coming from a good place. Please do not rehome your shiba.

I live with my shiba in a 1 bedroom apartment as well. My boyfriend and my cat also live in this apartment but we are all happy and have a blast. I give Kobe a great life and everything I do revolves around him.

Sometimes I take him to my parents house for the weekend so that we can have a mini vacation. They haven yard where kobe can run around freely. Everytime We come back he always seems to be in a slump as if he is bored now but then he bounces back quickly to his regular happy self.

If I go on vacation and Leave him at my parents house with their big yard they always tell me that he misses me like crazy and whines looking for me

You're not superman and I don't think that Banjo expects you to be. You've done your best to make sure he has dog playmates every day with the walker/trainer. Think of Banjo like a child...As a parent, if your situation didn't allow for you to have another child, then you wouldn't have one whether it made your first child happy or not. Despite that, only children can be very well adjusted so long as their parents make the effort to ensure they have play time with other kids. You're doing that for Banjo already and he's not hurting from being an only child because you're doing all the right things to make sure he still gets the interaction with other dogs that you need.

Even if you could get another dog, Banjo might not like it because you're his person and it would divide your attention from him. For instance, the fastest way for me to get Rooney to come when he's being stubborn is for me to pet/give attention to one of my two cats. He's immediately like, "what? my human is giving out lovin, I need all the love!" Banjo would likely feel the same way. Other dogs are fun to play with, but not if they divide your attention from him.

So, what I'm saying is: Stop feeling bad! You're doing all the right stuff. Your brain is lying to you about Banjo being better off in any other situation than what you're already providing.

I was shocked to read this as I absolutely LOVE all your posts!!

I can give you a slightly different perspective on this topic as we are living it:

Fen is my 21 year old daughter's dog. He is 18 months old and is bonded to her, as well as myself and my husband. My daughter has a tiny apartment with just a porch and no yard. She works and goes to school so Fen was crated or left on the porch quite often when he was with her, so, while she is looking for a bigger home, he lives with us (and has off and on since she got him). We live in the country and have a HUGE piece of property, other dogs, a huge fenced yard and Fen has humans around him almost all day long. He is never alone. He STILL misses Jade (my daughter). He goes through bouts of depression even now (and he has been with us nonstop since June). When she came up in July for 2 weeks he about lost his puppy mind he was so happy to see her, and when she left he was depressed and super clingy for about a week. The only reason he is happy here with us is because he was bonded to us as well - I went with Jade to see Fen the first time, I went with her to bring him home, my husband and I have been here ever since he was a tiny puppy. I can honestly say, that if he were to go to another house, yard, dogs and all but NO bonded human he would be heartbroken.

Have you read "The Hidden Life of Dogs"? It's a book by an animal anthropologist that talks a lot about pack mentality and anthropomorphism. I agree with everyone else in that you are WAY over thinking this! Now I will say that, the reason we have Fen is that we don't want him in a crate all day in my daughter's apartment, and the reason she let us keep him is for the same reason, but none of us would ever consider rehoming him. That's like giving up a child for adoption! How do you know what kind of a home Banjo would go to? My personal opinion is that you should keep Banjo and find ways to provide enrichment activities. Example: Fen LOVES sitcoms. Honestly. Hates cartoons, loves sitcoms and nature shows. When I do have to leave him alone I put out his blanket, let him pick a toy and put on the TV for him. I watched him one day after leaving to see what he did after I left (I have a little window I can look in and see the bedroom). He sat there and stared at the door for about 30 seconds, then turned around, went in the room, climbed on the bed, grabbed his toy and watched TV. LOL Jade also bought him some puzzle toys - he figured them out pretty quickly, but he did love them!

Also, you said your apartment didn't have a layout for an expen? The one Jade bought for Fen (which is now his puppy jail LOL) folds away completely, really easily and has panels that fold in any direction AND attach to his crate. Perhaps you could consider that, then you could put it out during the day while you are gone, then fold it up at night?

Just my opinion of course =) I am new to Shibas (dogs in general) and am by NO means any type of dog expert (I am a dog novice), so my opinion is purely personal so take it for what it's worth. =) I think Banjo is with YOU for a reason and you should see it through =)

Haven't read all the replies but can see everyone is giving great responses. I know from my time working directly with surrendered and unwanted dogs, how hard it is on the dog- it's distressing to watch.
I think you are over thinking all of this loneliness business. Banjo is probably happier living with you by himself and having play time with his friends and then enjoying alone time with and without you. I agree with everything @violet_in_seville said. Hope to hear an update soon that you have gotten over your doubts and decided against rehoming your dog.

violet_in_seville said:

@banjothebetadog - please excuse the blunt, and I daresay, harsh tone of the following response. My intentions are good, but frankly, all the nice (and true) things that other posters have said to you don't seem to have much of an effect on this step you seem to be building yourself up to taking.

I'm not admonishing you as a human being in the sense of you being a bad dog owner (as you somehow seem to fear in your initial post), but I do think you are indulging in a certain type of perversely selfish selflessness that seems not uncommon amongst those both privileged and kind of heart.

Others have covered just how good Banjo's life is with you. You know better than anyone else just how strongly the two of you are bonded. You are reading signs of Banjo's loneliness as testament to the inadequacy of his care and socialization. Has it never occurred to you that perhaps it is because he misses you, specifically? That perhaps this depression over the absence of the other dogs, is actually sulking due to the (very normal) absence of an owner whom he adores?

I know you have the very best of intentions, but in your sketch of the case for why Banjo would be happier with different owners who have a different life situation, you come across as wanting to wallow in a martyr complex. I think many of us would find it sweetly amusing (no doubt you really love your dog) if we didn't think there was the possibility of some very real and unpleasant consequences for Banjo.

Second, with regards to this rescuer, don't you think you are being inconsiderate of her time? You work for a non-profit so I think you understand just how thinly stretched their resources are. You would be asking her to take Banjo from a loving, caring, home and spend her time and resources finding him what you consider an even better home, rather than helping a dog that has never known that kind of love and care. Given the dearth of good homes for dogs, the number of abusive or negligent homes, and the limited resources of any rescue or rescuer, this request would be shortsighted and selfish, no matter how good your intentions for Banjo.

Finally, you do realize that by insisting that you are not serving Banjo's best needs despite the time, love, and money lavished on him, simply because he does not have other canine companions or a yard, etc., that you are insulting all of the owners out there and on this forum with similar circumstances, right? Working a 9-5 that requires commuting, living in an apartment or condo, and only having one dog, is not uncommon. I could list quite a few posters who are living in that kind of situation. Do you think that these posters, who exhibit just as much love, dedication, and commitment to their dogs are doing them a disservice? My guess is that you wouldn't but because they are not you, your perspective is a little more objective.

So if all the other posts are the sweet words trying to convince you to take the right oath, consider this post the slap in the face to try to get you to come back to your senses. Banjo's place is with you.

Something to lighten the tone of my post:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GetAHoldOfYourselfMan

^ This. @violet_in_seville said it far better than I did.

Update @BanjoTheBetaDog?

I've decided in the back of my mind, if someone who I knew 10000% loves him like me and would provide the life I think he should have, I would give him to them. That would be someone like my parents, my sister, etc. but the pool is small. Anyone I've known less than 15 years is immediately disqualified.

@BanjoTheBetaDog-I'm happy that you and Banjo are still a duo!!!

unless for some reason you can no longer provide for Banjo in the very literal sense- food, water, shelter, medical care, love, stimulation-exercise- then dont be worrying yourself about having to rehome him, and dont be stressing all your Shiba friends out thinking you are going to rehome him, alright man!! Golly gosh :P