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Ways to build trust and bonding few questions
  • SayaSaya
    Posts: 6678
    I was wondering what are things I can do to build Saya's trust in me and build my bond with her?

    With boxers it's just so easy they love everyone, but Saya seems so different since she's a shiba inu and all so I feel like such a novice on these things.

    I'm the one that does everything for the dogs feed them, walks, training, and playing only person that helps me is my mom sometimes.

    I always thought that most dogs like the family member that feed them, walk them more than the other family members. I guess I was wrong on that one.

    What are some good ways to calming her down when she's stressed? Luckily I never seen her stressed out, but I'm just curious on that.

    She just doesn't get excited when I come home from work or buying food or going to a movie. She always gets excited for my mom, brother, and my dad when they come home even if they just go outside to get something in their car.

    Well this Wednesday she'll be getting spayed I'll miss her while she's gone I hope things go well for her I'll post how she does on her thread when I get her back.
    Nicole, 5year old Bella(Boxer), and 4year old Saya(Shiba inu)
  • ljowen123ljowen123
    Posts: 3105
    Hand-feeding can go a long way on building trust. Also, do you spend one-on-one time with Saya? That special attention time can help with the bonding part.

    A stressed dog can present in many ways - what works for some won't work for others. For instance, I give melatonin to Jazz when I know we are going to do something that might stress her out (PetSmart). However, my niece's dog, Sally, gets super-hyper on melatonin instead of laid back.

    When pups are stressed, there's a fine line in reducing the stress & reinforcing the behavior. Some dogs can be comforted by a simple "it's okay", others may take a lot more work.
    LJ - owned by Queen Jazz, a Shiba Inu, Atlanta, GA
  • Nicole,
    Trust is not something that you can make happen .As in any relationship it comes over time, if you are already feeding ,training & walking her that is a great start.Does Saya sleep with you? If not try napping next to her sometimes just stroke her in a calming way & talk to her in a low calm voice.But you have to be patient the strongest bonds come slowly over time.This sounds crazy but I often look into my pups eyes when they are calm and I promise them I'll never let anything happen to them. I know they can't understand the words but I believe they can feel my honest sincere protective energy.But above all ,don't be impatient & frustrated with her.
  • CaliaCalia
    Posts: 3664
    You said that the rest of the family doesn't really help or give attention to her like you do, but she gets really excited whenever they come home. Tetsu is the same way where he gets more excited when family members (or even strangers) come home than he does with me or Tom. I think this sort of excitement does not come from bonding but more of the opportunity to get attention from someone they rarely get it from. You are there, she knows you can give her attention anytime and she probably feels confident that you're not going anywhere. Your family members don't give as much attention, thus it is rare and not always there, but she can get tons of attention from them (even pushing her off them can be awarding attention) when they come home.
  • CrimsonO2CrimsonO2
    Posts: 1165
    In my limited experience of owning dogs (rottweilers, then shiba), the dogs gravitate towards the owner that provides for them all of the following, trains them, and gives clear, structured, and concise signals and/or indicators about what they expect from the dog, be it unwanted or desired behavior.

    I also happen to love dogs for their sincerity of intention as well as their usefulness of being a nice barometric reading on your life. Any Instability, insecurity, indecisiveness I may have or any other disruption that occur in my day are all sensed by my pet in some manner. This is one of the reasons why I love owning a dog. Because they allow you to really focus on just "being" with them. Especially a Shiba...they demand nothing less!

  • SayaSaya
    Posts: 6678
    Thanks a lot for the tips and advice I'm not trying to be impatient with working on trust I was just wondering on that.

    Things are looking for the better yesterday and the last three days before that was a bad day a few days ago I bruised my big toe so it's all swollen and black where the nail is my guess it's going to fall off soon. My toe is feeling better and I was just kinda down since I wasn't feeling well enough to do my two walks a day with the dogs. I'll be sure to give Saya one on one time with her I keep forgetting to do things like that with here.

    One thing though when she does shower her affection on me it's wonderful. When I kneel down on the floor she shiba hugs me and if I'm laying down she shiba hugs me begging me to pet her and massage her. We also play chase I run around while she chases me. I just need to keep my thoughts positive sometimes I can be blind to the things that are there.
    Nicole, 5year old Bella(Boxer), and 4year old Saya(Shiba inu)
  • Mochi920Mochi920
    Posts: 357
    @saya reviving this discussion after so many years because I am having the same questions that you did and was wondering how much your Saya has changed since then :) I'm assuming she was a puppy back when this was first started (if not, my apologies).
    Mochi is a little less than 5 months old and in the mornings she is happy to see me (airplane ears, cuddling up on my lap to be petted) and at night she often comes to me and curls up on my lap while she chews on her bone. She is always more excited to see other people than me throughout the day though. I have a neighbor who she occasionally sees and she goes crazy for her. Her tail is wagging, whining, and airplane ears. Mochi very rarely does that for me lol so I am wondering if I'm doing something wrong or if I'm not bonding with her well enough or if it's just because she is still a puppy. I'm the one who feeds her (handfeeding included), plays with her, takes her out, teaches her tricks and commands, but idk I feel as if she finds other people more likeable bc of her excitement when she sees them or if I'm boring to her.

    What are some ways to bond with her more or is it merely just because she is a puppy? :(
    I just want to know if this is normal or if I'm lacking as an owner because she is my first dog. She just seems more excited to be around other people than me.
  • What you're describing is not a puppy Mochi thing, or even a Shiba thing, but a dog thing. New people are just exciting to sociable dogs. Every dog I've known (that actually likes most people) gets more animated at the arrival of guests than of their regular humans.

    Ichabod does the same thing: If I come home from work, he stretches & wags a little with airplane ears, gets some kisses in, and attempts to lead me to the play area. If my buddy comes over, Ichabod wags furiously & jumps all over him and is ALL about him for a couple hours. But this is Ichabod after I briefly stopped by to bring lunch to sick fiance (Ichabod and I greeted each other, but mostly he just licked fiance's leg while we ate); I have never observed Ichabod do this by the door for a while after my buddy leaves.

    Two observations that can be simultaneously true: you are routine to Mochi, and Mochi is tightly bonded to you. Works that way for people too, in my experience
    Post edited by JackState at 2017-02-01 17:21:44
  • I agree with @JackState. Your Mochi is used to having you around so she makes a bigger deal of seeing someone else. My Quakey does the same thing as Mochi and yet I know he is very bonded to me. Even the behaviorist trainer commented to me about how deep my bond is with Quakey. The behaviorist vet also said the same thing about my bond with Quakey.
  • LilikoiLilikoi
    Posts: 1269
    Yeah, I agree with the above. I might even see her being so used to you as a huge blessing: she's obviously very comfortable with you. If she were less used to you, she might get excited and go crazy over you. But I think the fact that she chooses you, rather than just getting excited, is very sweet.

    Ozzy's similar. He doesn't get that excited about me lol. He knows I'll always be here. :P but he's just an enthusiastic greeter lol. But he's not as excited about other people when I'm not there. If I'm out, even if there are many people he would usually be excited about, he just lies down somewhere and waits for me... usually in his crate. He doesn't even really sleep. He just waits up and watches and relaxes. I expected him to wreak havoc when I would go out to see a movie or something and would leave him with my family. But he was always a total angel lol. I thought he might try to test their boundaries or see if he could get away with things since I'm not there to redirect him. But he just waits for me. And gives me sweet airplane ears and squinty eyes. I feel like they're confident of our love and aren't trying to get any attention or approval from us. They're comfortable and can be themselves around us. :)
    Post edited by Lilikoi at 2017-02-01 23:14:30
  • Well gosh, I dunno then maybe my dogs are weird or maybe it's because Laika has only really bonded with my husband and I in the house, and is very stand-offish with my son and my dad (she doesn't bark at them, she'll play fetch with them, but she never goes to them for affection).

    That being said, when either of us goes out (even if it's just one of us and only for 3 minutes), we get the whole royal treatment when we come in the door - airplane ears, high pitched excited cry, excited zooms, a thousand kisses, if you don't kneel laika and her spring loaded butt will jump 4 feet in the air and headbutt you trying to give you kisses. This happens every time one of us comes home and they both do it. Hell, sometimes it happens if they just wake up from a nap or were in a different room for more than an hour. They're crazy affectionate.

  • Mochi920Mochi920
    Posts: 357
    @jackstate @antoinette @lilikoi @spacedogs
    Thank you all for your responses! I'm a first time dog owner and everything is still new to me :) I just want to make sure I'm giving her enough attention and not lacking in what I can do for her.
  • @Mochi920 well really the only thing we've done different with our Shibas than with any other dog we owned was what we called "cuddle training", since they weren't naturally cuddly dogs (ours weren't any rate). When they were sleeping we'd lay down next to them to get them used to us sleeping with them, eventually we were able to lay closer and closer to them, always sneaking in a gentle touch here or there. Now Laika comes to us for cuddles when she's sleepy, or if we're already laying down she'll curl up around or on my legs or feet somewhere, and Rhyz likes to lay down and stretch out beside us like a person and get belly rubs and ear scratches while he falls asleep. Unlike Laika, he's friendly and affectionate with everyone in the house, but the only people he cuddles & sleeps with are myself and the husband.

    It's more than just attention, also the type of attention. They're our dogs, my son and dad both live with us but they don't feed or do the main training or caretaking, and the dogs know this. They know who their people are, and we were very firm with my family members when we got the dogs about the rules and expectations in regard to their training and diet. We didn't leave anything up in the air and made it clear we expected them to respect us (I'm talking about my family still, not the dogs though we're always clear with them too lol).

    If you're sharing the responsibility with someone you both need to be on the same page all the time with your training. Consistency is very important. Be persistent and patient, and you'll be rewarded in the long run. :)

  • ObizaObiza
    Posts: 69
    @spacedogs, I have one of those too :) Rusty has absolutely no concept of time when we’re gone. It could be 5 minutes or all day at work and he’s just as excited we’re home. Even if one of us is home he still gets all excited with the airplane ears and the crying. I also make him sit and stay so I can change out of my work clothes right away and the wagging his tail does when he’s sitting on his butt barely able to contain his excitement is just too cute.

    He shows interest in meeting extended family/friends because he knows he gets pets but the moment he sees one of us head toward the door he’s on our heels to make sure we don’t leave him! I do remember this one time when I was out grilling in the driveway and noticed he was no longer at my feet and sure enough a neighbor had walked by and he had to go investigate and get pets.

    I still think some days he loves cars more than us though. If there’s a car with a door open (even if it’s empty) he feels the need to jump right in! He’s usually persistent on not wanting to get out too. I swear he makes himself too easy to kidnap…
  • Mochi920Mochi920
    Posts: 357
    @spacedogs sometimes I can't tell if Mochi wants to be petted or have her belly rubbed lol she comes up to me and lays down and when I place a hand on her side she rolls over on her back...but when I start to give her a belly rub she starts chewing on my hand and when I pull away slowly she goes after my hand and brings it back down but won't let go of it :P she always wants to be within sight of our family when she's inside the house. When she's outside she kind of cares less but I always catch her watching/staring at us from the yard as if to make sure we haven't forgotten about her LOL
  • Mochi920Mochi920
    Posts: 357
    @obiza awww the part about him sitting on his butt with his tail wagging!! I wish mine would just jump into my car lol she just looks at me like "what are you doing? Pick me up human!"

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