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Shiba's CoCo & Ashley need more quality time (may need more LOVE)
  • SusieSusie
    Posts: 11
    My original post on May 23rd (in "Introductions"---pls refer to for more info to avoid redundancy) stated that my dogs may need more love. WEll, I love them plenty, so more accurrately, they need more quality time with their caregiver. As an update to those who posted to my original introduction (and new readers) I offer the following:

    -it is nearly 5 months later and I am still in the same agonizing position. But my youngest son, just turned 15 years old is not around to help. I tried to be subtle in the intro post as not to get to in the weeds, but the fact is my 15 yr old is "special needs" and did not move back after the summer. As my earlier post alluded to, CoCo is "special needs" too. What i've noticed in several forum threads is that there is a quick call to judgment at times when others do not understand the severity of the situation ( I again am rambling out of the emotion of it all....). I did not get puppies and just get tired of them, or overwhelmed. I worked through it. 5 years later though (all extremely tough years) I LOVE MY GIRLS SO MUCH that I worry about the lack of attention, time, etc., etc. My other worry is that CoCo has now bitten 3 times since my last post. In all cases, the person over stepped the warning given, "don't touch her on her head until she gets used to you....." She bit me when I tried to give her her Frontline. She is supersmart, does not like those littel green containers. Anyway, with my youngest son now gone for a time, the girls are getting such elongated periods of isolation. Even though they are allowed to roam the house, their bladders are busting many a night (my older son is transitioning to independent adult living as I mentioned---he is moving out). I have to work. I say again, I HAVE to work. I have sacrificed much of my social life, having friends over, flying to visit family (because kenneling is so hard on them). But, when my 15 yr old returns in 3 mos, 6 mos, whenever, I can't imagine our severe life stressors (which are significant, chronic, and too personal to mention all) to be conducive to having a decent human quality of life, let alone giving the girls what they deserve, more attention, more time. I could have never imagined having 2 extremely difficult children (and I don't mean the normal teen difficulties). I could never imagine that the quiet, aloof Shiba's that we obtained while overseas would be such a nighmare at times. I know that my mentioning the difficulties and especially the nipping/biting is not the "advertisement" that will elicit an instant, innocent volunteer 2nd family, but I can not tell a lie. CoCo and Ashley need love, AND quality time. But they do come with challenges. I wonder if there is a Mother Theresa or Mahatma Ghandi out there that will not judge me, but contemplate the value of considering present and future and the difficulties I've mentioned, and possibly welcome a "challenge" a "good deed" special needs dogs to their home????? They are microchipped. THEY WILL NOT, CAN NOT BREED. We live in MD, (near D.C.). I welcome thoughts, queries of all types (minus the "beat up the non responsible, give up too easily pet owner" because I know my heart and this wouldn't be PURE PAIN if I was just trying to give away a responsibility. This is about caring enough to want more for them, and caring for my human family that is not doing very well at all. I LITERALLY do not fly to visit my family across the nation because of the protectiveness I have given to these dogs!!!! I can't emphasize enough that my sacrifices have been tremendous to the point that I contemplate the next 10 years in servitude to my girls. Pure pain, because even with that I can't seem to give them enough of what they need. And my human family, me and my 15 yr old are in extremis. One of you many wonderful members suggested a shiba rescue as last resort. Possibly, I appreciate that idea. But I thought I would put the situation on the line and see if any dear soul that has dog whisperer skills, acres and acres of land, bountiful bags of neverending no grain food, and a love of throwing balls with the same level of excitement for both the 1st and the 50th throws (in the span of 15 mins), only to do it again, is out there........Mother there,.....Ghandi........I need you.....
  • SayaSaya
    Posts: 6678
    So sorry about this. :(

    If you don't want give to a shiba rescue maybe a shiba rescue can do a courtesy listing to help get the word out about the two needing a home?

    I'm no parent so no clue on the pain your in, but I can understand some as my brother's have caused issues with mom though now they're moved out working fine they never cause issues now..

    I have caused some issues too, but I'm growing myself and I help out a lot in the house and most issues I caused was because of dad some from me being me..

    Luckily mom needs me as someone needs to keep the house clean and yard mowed!

    I really hope you can find a good home for the two.

    I can understand some Saya can be mouthy it's light mouth, but still cause some bruising to mom's leg. :\

    It's an excitement thing for Saya she does it only when greeting her when she is home.

    As puppy she did drew blood, but luckily learned not bite so hard.

    I have acres of land, but not in current position for another dog or two.. I need get myself in shape and stuff..
    Nicole, 5year old Bella(Boxer), and 4year old Saya(Shiba inu)
  • SusieSusie
    Posts: 11
    @Saya, Thank you for your support and sharing. And I hear you on the need to be "in shape...:) Enjoy those acres! Such a wonderful thing indeed.
  • You need to get these dogs into a rescue. There are rescues in your area, and you should contact them. Obviously, you are not able to take care of them, so now you need to find a good home for them.

    I have to say, I found your post extremely difficult to read (partially because it had no paragraph breaks), but also because it's very jumbled, with lots of emotion, but not a lot of clear information about the dogs. I'm not sure you're going to be able to present them well yourself. And in addition, most people here already have Shibas, so while it's certainly not a bad idea to post here that you have dogs needing a home, a rescue would be able to do this so much better. Also if you can get a rescue to take them, a foster home can evaluate them and get a better sense of what these two dogs need. That is by far your best bet, not hoping for a "miracle" here.

    What people need is solid information about the dogs. What are their special needs? Do they have health issues? how old are they? How many times and in what circumstances have the dog(s) bit people. Etc. Possible homes really need that information.

    As for your situation, I'm sorry, and it sounds difficult. But I will say that I don't think "not flying across the country to see family" is such a big deal. Many people here have multiple dogs, and yes, we've made choices to have those dogs. I don't travel either--or rather, my husband and I don't travel together. We can't. We don't kennel our four either, and it's hard to get a housesitter than can handle them. I have two dogs that have been separated, constantly, for four years now. Two out of my four need meds twice a day. Etc. I don't feel like I'm making particular sacrifices or doing anything tremendous. I'm just taking care of the lives I chose to let in my life.

    This is not to berate you--I believe that if people know they can't given dogs a good quality of life, then it is best to make the hard decision to find them a new home. I'm just saying that I don't think doing all these things is that extreme or too different from what other dog owners do.

    I really think your best bet is to get these dogs into a rescue. Or at the very least, do a courtesy listing with a rescue.
  • SusieSusie
    Posts: 11
    @Shibamistress. Thank you for the your time and thoughts. Yes, I had a "run-on" there, and possibly was lazy in referring to my "Introduction" for the reader to find so as not to repeat so much. I will learn from that mistake as I am not all that experienced with these forums (or Facebook, or MySpace, or Twitter). So, I will take these lessons learned for future. As well, I will find some time to consolidate the two (this and my intro which is more chalk full of particulars I think) to present in a more coherent fashion. I have to admit that I provided more personal information than what I would in most cases because I read the "shiba & baby" string and felt compelled to explain the situation, which ended up taking over explaining the dogs' socioeconomic status so to speak.

    I see you have experience with the "staying put" way of living yourself. Your dogs are loved indeed. I do, however, think in terms of a bit of sacrifice however, for me. I have not seen my 73 year old mother in 5 years. I am 44. She has not seen her grandsons in 5 years. She cannot travel to me. This is a relationship sacrifice. She is in poor health and will inevitably die. I can't NOT consider that. For me, this is certainly problematic. I am alone (except for boys, well one of two) in my state with 8 siblings across the country as well, only 2 of which fly. More relationships that are not being fostered because I have yes, chosen Shiba's into my life and I need to care for them. But who is to say what price becomes too great. I feel this intense need to explain my very unusual situation, but it would take volumes and honestly, I am a realist and understand that myriad opinions will abound regardless of whether I managed to put my story out there for the masses. So, I simply will say that I have "sacrificed." I need to say this because it is bordering on self-flagellating martyrdom. I uphold values, character, honor, dedication, tenacity, perseverance in the highest regard. But I do believe if one is losing themselves in the process, one loses the ability to affectively "care..for the lives" that they touch.

    Many, many thanks for informing me that rescues have a foster home situation that "assesses" dogs. It is so very, critically, important that an accurate picture is given of Coco and Ashley, which is why my most immediate desire earlier was to be brutally honest with their flaws up front. I will settle down and use intellect to a greater extent in my next presentation of this heart wrenching scenario.

    Best to you and yours!
  • sunyatasunyata
    Posts: 8584
    @Susie - Honestly, I think you are misunderstanding why everyone is suggesting rescue as a resource to rehome your Shibas. It is not because you are not able to give an accurate picture of their personalities or special needs (whatever those might be, because you have not given a very good picture of what your Shibas are like). It is because rescue organizations have a HUGE network of resources that will be able to find these dogs the best home for their needs and get the the proper care and attention that they need in the meantime.

    It is obvious from your post that your home is not appropriate for them any more due to time, management, and financial restraints (if I am reading into your post correctly, there are a lot of allusions made, but no specifics mentioned).

    I think the best thing for all parties involved, especially the dogs, is to turn them over to a rescue organization as soon as practically possible. This will get the dogs into a stable environment and able to be evaluated and rehabilitated and ready for adoption. There are two major Shiba rescues in your area. New York City Shiba Rescue and Mid Atlantic Shiba Rescue. Please PLEASE consider contacting either of these rescues (or another of your choosing) to get these dogs into a better situation as soon as possible.

    I know that you are in a bad situation and that this is heartbreaking, but do the best thing for the dogs, no matter how hard that may be on you.
    Bella 2Mountains 2Nola 2
    Casey, with Bella and Nola, hanging out in the mountains of Virginia.
    I Wander, I Ride
  • Just to chime in, I believe the strain is also due to family circumstances dealing with her children, and do go beyond normal family issues. A child with those needs (whatever the specifics may be) is already an enormous strain on personal resources (in terms of time, emotion, and finances) and not something that most of us have had to deal with ever.

    That said, it is far more appropriate (as everyone else has said) to try to place your dogs with a rescue now. @sunyata has mentioned two excellent ones, and I'll add Ocean County Shiba rescue as another small but good one relatively close. I urge you to contact one of them as soon as possible.

    I also suggest that you sit down at a computer and start a file on a word processing document. List the age, weight, medical history of each dog. List any behavioral history of note. List training history. List personality, likes, dislikes, quirks. Finally list your concerns. Use five sections and bullet point everything. Do not include any info about your personal life, it isn't relevant. Look it over and edit if need be. You need to be able to communicate these facts to the rescues in the most concise, objective way possible. Back story is irrelevant. Think of it as an office memo. Good luck.
    Post edited by violet_in_seville at 2012-10-10 12:18:55
  • sunyatasunyata
    Posts: 8584
    @violet_in_seville - Making a list regarding each dog is excellent advice. Thanks!
    Bella 2Mountains 2Nola 2
    Casey, with Bella and Nola, hanging out in the mountains of Virginia.
    I Wander, I Ride
  • Great suggestion! It's true...all people need to know about is the dogs. The rest is not relevent to rehoming these dogs and is off-putting to potential adopters, who may become frustrated about not getting the information they want. A memo is a great way to do this. Very businesslike. And get in contact with the rescues.

    This is the best chance these two dogs will have.

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